When my father died, last August, my husband made a wonderful video in his memory (here).
That was 10 months ago. I’m still dealing with his death emotionally, and financially as the executor of his estate. I’ve blogged over at the Indie Chicks Cafe about the kinds of things that might be helpful for every child to discuss with his/her parent BEFORE it is too late …
A will and a lawyer. My father had a will and established a trust for his estate to protect my mom. He had a relationship with a lawyer he trusted. Thank goodness.
- An accountant AND an investment manager: My father did not, however, have either an accountant or an investment manager. He liked to manage his money himself, which was great when he was alive and able to see to it himself, but added to the nightmare that his death was for me, as the executor of his estate.
- A paper copy of all online passwords, in one place.
- A transparent filing system: this should have insurance information, medical bills, bank accounts, and investments. Plus all vehicle titles.
- Funeral plans. Best to discuss your parent’s wishes. My father had his funeral entirely planned out. He’d even lined up family and friends to speak.
- Any bequests that are not in the Will. To avoid disputes with siblings, these should be explicit—and in writing, if possible.
Finally, and this can be the hardest thing of all, especially if child and parent are not close, is making sure that you, as the child, say to your parent everything that needs to be said.
On August 1 last year, my mother called me to say that my father wasn’t feeling well (understatement) and wanted to see me. We live a mile from each other and so I went over immediately. For an hour and a half that morning, I lay on the bed with my father. We held hands and said I love you to each other. I told him I’d take care of my mom.
He died three weeks later.
For more, see: http://indiechickscafe.com/when-your-parent-dies/